Absence makes the heart grow fonder

It's so true. *sigh* I'm going to become way worse off when Megan leaves me too. *tear* What will become of me? I should go work on stuff soon. I have a scholarship thing [chinese btw], Ap Gov assignment, and my US history class...not too bad. I guess I'm just jealous of the kids who really have nothing to do over the summer. You should be happy that you are bored. Very happy. Last night I was talking to my "wifey" about the key to life being simplicity. And it's so true, simplicity is the key. Things just need to be kept simple. We make it complicated for ourselves when we don't really need to. So i'm gonna go simplify my life now by taking a well deserved nap.

I found Nemo

I found Nemo


What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


I'm Nemo. Yay! Sunday's are beautiful. Even if it's not sunny..there's no other feeling like the feeling you get waking up on a Sunday morning. *sigh* I'm just enjoying it right now...the only thing missing is my little brother, who is at a sleepover. k I'm going to finish my Sunday morning with my family.

I'd just like to wish my Mom and Melissa P. a Happy Birthday!!!

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

According to Petey this is my future in 6 years:
Setting: Jerry Springer
Topic: "sonfused" meaning pregnant (fused to a son)

PeterDLai: you're going to tell your boyfriend
PeterDLai: that you're sonfused
PeterDLai: and you're gonna be like "I'm not sure who it is with"
PeterDLai: and he's gonna be like "omg"
PeterDLai: and he's like "OMFG"
PeterDLai: and you're like "im sorry..."
PeterDLai: and then they're going to run tests
PeterDLai: to see who the father is
PeterDLai: and it's gonna be your boyfriend
PeterDLai: and then it'll be happy ending
PeterDLai: and you'll go "whew, luckily it wasn't with any of the other three"
PeterDLai: and THEN HE BREAKS UP WITH YOU
Pinky Pinks 86: haha
PeterDLai: on national TV!!

That's my future laid out for ya...not really. I just found it really entertaining.

Hello Kitty

Yay! Today was a wonderful day. After my lesson I went to Angela's and got my present. She made a Hello Kitty mermaid/fairy thing out of paper that she folded up. It's waaaayyy cool. Megan's still working on hers...it's all good. I'd just like to see her a few more times before she leaves for Portugal. So many wonderful things have happenned today. I even just got paid a visit from Kelly and Stephanie. They were just driving around when we were pulling into my driveway and I heard someone scream my name. Turns out it was those two wild girls wishing me a happy birthday. At angela's when they sang Happy birthday to Jessica..and sorta me I got my hair all messed up. Apparently they mess up your hair if it's your birthday. I got a call from Petey, Megan, Joel, and a card from Johnny aka *smoochies*. Such nice people. I'm being smothered Megan...yep you're right...I like it. I was thinking about what I'm gonna look like when I get older...but for the past 5 years or so I've basically looked the same. I dunno...we'll have to see. *scary thought*

Sweet 17?

No more sleep over. Oh yeah...I'm officially 17. Yes I am. I love the number 27....especially when the month June is placed in front of it. Yeah I almost got stuffed into a trash can by Elouie today. I got my cheeks pinched non-stop. It's ok...no Mckinney today. Woot! I get to go to Angela's house after my violin lesson. Nam gave me a present. Yay! I'm so happy. Except my group for my project in my history class is just 4 college guys and me. It's kind of intimidating. Bad times... they'll pass. I just have to punch them in the face. Ka Pow! K I'm gonna enjoy my brithday by taking a nap now.

Flushing...

Finding Nemo was an awesome movie. You have to watch it. Conor's out in Australia trying to find him for me. People have been telling me that kids have been flushing their fishes down toilets to try and "free them" since all pipes lead to the ocean. So yeah, yesterday was tons-o-fun! I need to do work for my class...so many things to do..so little time. I really need a real break, but I don't think that life meaning real adult life includes any real breaks. I'm starting to have too many things to keep track of again. *growl* That's life, as Frank Sinatra would say. I hope also that my right leg stops hurting! oh yeah and *tear*, I don't think that Megan is gonna go to the sleep over at Angela's. So it'll be just me and Angela. Which isn't bad, but I love it when it's the three of us. It just feels right. *wah!* The three amigas! Ay yay!

Worry

Sometimes we are unaware of, what we consider to be a small action, can really do. I guess a person shouldn't always do things without thinking, because the consequences can come without warning. We unintentionally hurt a friendship, or make it uncomfortable sometimes in just one afternoon. That was the last thing that I would ever intend to happen. Hopefully I won't end up making the same kind of mistakes anymore. Not that it was a mistake, but the consequences that followed were not intended. I guess I say that i won't worry, but in reality I still do.

Smoochies

Back from a long day. The sun is back though, and I'm loving it. Last day of PE with Green, so we are gonna see McKinney tomorrow!! Yay! [poo] I hope to get tan. I get to see Maya tomorrow when i go over to Joel's house. I miss her. I'll give her a smoochie for Meegan. Yep Meegan. BTW maya is our violin clinician at school..prolly the coolest almost 40 year old person that I know. I heart orchestra. You guys are all wonderful!! Those of you not in orchestra are wonderful too!

Without you, the emotions of today would be the scurf of yesterday's

There's not much to say. Tomorrow is my first day of night classes woot! US History 102. Fun Fun...and what? More fun. Im actually hoping not to get a call from ESS. I don't think i could handle it. I'm always sooo physically tired after PE in the morning. Sunday was fun though. Amelie!! such a cute movie. I heart it. Foreign films can be interactive too: "You say the girl's lines and I'll say the guy's!" ~Joel. I'm gonna be old soon. 17...sweet 17?? Lost its ring i guess. I gotta get ready for tomorrow...more PE, only we get to run!! yay! [sarcasm intended]

Things I'm looking forward to:
~Seeing Finding Nemo with Joel and his sis Ariana
~Not going to the ASB meetings for the rest of this week
~Last lesson of violin for a month on Friday
~Sleeping over at Angela's with Megan on Saturday (I'm scared to see what they are gonna do to me...I should sleep with one eye open)
~Hearing Megan sing the Enchilada song first thing in the morning after the sleep over so....Sunday Morning

Sparks

Listenning to Coldplay and enjoying my sunday morning. Sparks is the best song on this CD i think.

Did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say,
You'll say 'Oh, sing one you know,'
But I promise you this,
I'll always look out for you,
That's what I'll do

Say I...
I say I?

My heart is yours,
It's you that I hold on to,
That's what I'll do
I know I was wrong,
But I won't let you down,
Oh yeah I will, yeah I will
Yes I will

I said I,
I cry I,
I saw sparks (x4)
Singing out

Music is nice. I like it lots, except when you have to use it to audition. Argh...curse SDYS!! explain how it is that I'm working out more, and then i gain more weight?? My body must hate me. But I am enjoying summer, sort of. It's a lot less stress and a lot more time to myself. I have more freedom to do what I want to do, rather than what I have to do. still lots of stress coming from unnecessary directions. Man I'm a hypocrite. I do the same thing to others that I hate having them do to me. Judging, and making assumptions, before knowing what made them the person that they are today, and what makes them do what they do. I'll try to be more aware. that's the best I can do i guess...

Yzma put your hands up!

Home alone, and all I can think of doing is cleaning. I should prolly be doing some sort of a summer assignment, but I will get it done somehow right? Right. I've had a good day. Now that I'm home though, it's like wha? I need to stop being confused about everything. I'll figure it out eventually. Life will take its course and I'll just be along for the ride. Enjoying the rollercoaster of emotions that I get along with it. Yep its like an amusement park with free admission. Yeah I'm cheap too. hehe jk.

Enter the Dragon

Last night was fun...Bruce Lee~Enter the Dragon!!! Man those facial expressions....Don't move! Don't Even Breathe! Megan Nan Ivan and I went to In-n-Out, then Ivan's house. Half way through the movie, his cousin came in and he looks like a growned up Johnny Yip..its funny. But really the movie had sooo much racial profiling it was sad. Sumo wrestlers at a chinese island??? Ok Sumo wrestlers are Japanese...no wonder all american's think anyone who looks oriental is Japanese. Then the black guy gets stopped by two white cops, and kind of bullied. Then he beats up the cops and steals their car away. The same black guy is offered women when he's on the island, and he asks for like 4 of them!!! What?!?! Then he says something like...If i missed anyone its because i'm a little tired...and i'm like wha?!?! Very weird movie, horrible dialogue, great action. Bruce Lee like speaks 5 times probably. Classic.

Fat Cat

Pain....in the body. Yes..I am in pain. 4 hours of PE, kinda fun but not really. It feels good to be getting into shape, but i just wonder sometimes if i'd rather just die fat and content with being lazy. Its just so much more fun being lazy. Then there's that voice in the back of your mind. Your conscience. All it does is tell you to get off your lazy butt because you are being unproductive. Some people are good at being lazy, but for some reason I keep thinking about if I died all of a sudden. What would I have to show? [ouch brain hurts]

Smile! You're on Candid Camera!

Smiles...oh man those are the greatest thing a person can give you. Everyone should just look around and smile a little more. Give some smiles, take some smiles...just SMILE! Laughter really is the best medicine, and I thank my friends for that. BTW Public Announcement:: It is JACKIE LOPEZ'S 18th birthday...watch out she's legal!! *wink*wink* That is all.

The world stands out on either side
No wider than the heart is wide;
Above the world is stretched the sky,¡X
No higher than the soul is high.
The heart can push the sea and land
Farther away on either hand;
The soul can split the sky in two,
And let the face of God shine through.
But East and West will pinch the heart
That can not keep them pushed apart;
And he whose soul is flat¡Xthe sky
Will cave in on him by and by.

Clearing my mind...Thanks to anyone that has made me a better person in one way or other. I can't tell you what the future has to hold, but take comfort in knowing that I care for you now and always will. There was something there, so in essence it won't just disappear. Things may fade, but they never disappear. There's a place in my heart for everyone, and no one ever replaces anyone else.

This morning I woke up at 6 am to wake my mom up, but then couldn't get back to sleep. that sucked. So then Joel's dad picked me up at 8 45 to go to the meeting for senior class council. It took a little longer than we had planned, so Joel's mom took us home a little early after i got dragged into the car by his sister. hehe. I hope that I'm gonna go out to lunch today, if things work out right. I promised my wifee (chris Ho) that we'd finish our convo, so I can't break a promise. I need to send in my junk for LAX south swell summer stuff. Cross my fingers for my application to go through...please hire me please please please!! Back to more cleaning...the story of my life...

It sucks when you are me, and you never know exactly what exactly is going on with yourself. Sometimes when you think so much about how others feel, that you lose sight of exactly how it is you feel. When this happens for a long period of time, you really just forget how to feel after a while. As Chris said, "i'm not the type to really fall head over heels for a guy", and it's so true, because I never let myself really. I never let myself feel all those great feelings that everyone else seems to feel for others. I'm not like numb or anything, it's just that I guess I'm jaded...hence the name Jade. I care for people, that's not the problem. I guess the problem is that I think too much, and feel too little. It doesn't really matter, I mean it's high school right? I need to stop working on my "relationships" and just work on my friendships more than anything. Then maybe once that part of my life is back on track, other things will fall into place. Thank you for always being so understanding. I've never felt like I was really worth holding on to, but you make me feel different about myself. Thank you for that, if nothing else. I am sorry for being this way...really I wish i could snap my fingers and all the answers would be there, but sometimes it's just not that easy. "all things have simple solutions" yeah nan...you're right, but simple doesn't always mean easy. Keep that in mind as well. So I guess time will tell....

Other than resolving things with some people, everything's good. I am still busy as ever, and my days of sleeping in are numbered. Summer school is going to start soon. Let's see. Tuesday i get to fight Joel at 9am...haha. Then I get to do some other fun stuff, like check out some old ships, finish my application, take my daddy out, and clean a lot!!! Ohyeah I got a hairs cut...it's much shorter than before in my opinion, but my dad doens't notice these kind of things....Happy Father's Day!!

Simply speaking...I'm a horrible person. I've done a lot of things that I didn't mean to do, without even realizing it. I've screwed up a friendship that I never wanted to lose. I've made someone feel bad when all I wanted to do was tell them what a great friend they've been. My actions affect others, and sometimes I don't realize how much they affect them. I could sit here and say that I'm sorry all that I want, but I don't really know if that'd really express all the stuff that I'm feeling right now. I'll finish this later, when things are a little clearer...

Graduation...be proud, I didn't cry. I didn't let Adam go that easily, and I spinned Jackie around in a circle, told Anton and Glenda to come back and visit lots, told my wifee that I'd keep my promise, hugged every person imaginable. After losing Megan and Nan in the mass of people...omg there were tons!!! We went to Angela's house. It was really cold though sitting out there as the "Honor Chain". Our names were on the graduation pamphlet or whatever you call it.

Then we went to Angela's house. Megan and I ate like pigs, then she didn't feel good. So she went home. Angela's little cousins started to attack me. All because of Alan. I got tickled to death. Then got my cheeks pinched a billion times. Mostly by david (the second coolest Hua...then again i think Phil might be tied), then by Jessica (Oh man she's way cool too!!). Mark and Martin, who got dressed alike by their Mommy, attacked me the most. Little Christian was so cute too. I love big family gatherings, even when I'm not technically family. It's sad how I don't have any family that's like here in san diego with me. But it's all good. I can just borrow Angela's when I wanna...haha jk. I got home about 11pm, but i called around 10 30...dunno how that happenned. I miss some people already, and it's just the beginning of summer. but then again...IT'S SUMMER!!!! *Happy dance*

Friendships are amazing. They can hold through anything. Thank you for the last few days...you know who you are. You've seen me in my best and worst, and yet you don't judge me. (I probably won't give it back just cuz it's so cool) I can be totally honest with you, and no matter what I can count on you. Thanks. So many great people out there. I love you all. So much content in my heart...i can't even begin to describe it. Summer's coming up...perhaps a new beginning. We'll see. I'm excited for summer. No matter how busy i'll still be, i'm excited. So many new things to look forward too. Last day of school tomorrow, and I still haven't turned in ALL of my stuff. I'm on the honor chain, that means that I get to be there for graduation!!! Yay for me!! I might cry though...be careful, I may just get you wet....*tear*

I don't think I ever feel things until it's too late. A lot of people are already getting all sentimental about the seniors that are leaving, but I really don't miss them right now. Half of it is because I know that I won't miss them because the effort I'm going to make to keep in touch will make it impossible to miss them. The other half is because i'm just slow about realizing those feelings until it's the moment where I realize that there are people that I probably won't ever see again. And how I'll miss them no matter how close I am to them.

Funny how sometimes we are more in love with the idea of being in love than actually being in love. Look around, you may see that more often than you'd like.

Thanks for being so wunderful...yes wunderful.

Wow I haven't updated for a while...I'll get back to you when I have time. For now, I'm really content with everything. Paradoxes are funny, because while they don't seem to make sense...they are very true. Many things that we don't want to be true usually are true as well. We all hate hypocrites, when in fact we are often hypocrites. We tell others not to put up walls, but at the same time, we put them up ourselves. We are taught to treat others as you wish to be treated, but don't practice it. think about it....

Ok so its past midnight and I'm not asleep. This post won't make much sense since random thoughts are going through my head. Like fate...what's up with that? And how do you win that darn pearl game? And why do we feel the need to always have someone that cares about us? How come we don't get to pick our family? How come the ones we hurt most are the ones we love most? What is the point of school? Where would I be without schoool? Where would i be without my friends? How complicated are we anyway? What exactly makes you happy? How do you define happiness? Is ignorance really bliss? Should we really hitch onto that star, or do as Nash says and "Kindly Unhitch that star, Buddy" (or something)? Why am I not asleep yet? How much can one person really hold inside? Can we really chose how we feel? When should we take a risk? Is the risk really worth it? When do you tell the truth? When do you just omit some of the truth? Should we care about how others feel? Who actually reads this (hehe)? The unanswerable questions just keep going on and on and on.....maybe I'm just a wannabe insomniac.

Ha! Our boat sunk due to Tenacious Dong's ghetto booty. More like due to the holes at the bottom of the boat. The ghostbusters have retired...

Things are good. I have only one more project to go. Darn English!! Singleton gets worse and worse as the year progress...sad but pretty much true. There's not much to rant about. I'm actually pretty content with the friendship aspects of my life. Family on the other hand. Well, I'm not the perfect daughter everyone wants me to be. So i guess I'll just have to deal. I can't take care of myself apparently, and don't have much of a sense of responsibility cuz I "love to hang out after school". That's all I ever do apparently. I actually do run a lot of errands. My dad just only sees me when I'm done with them and am hanging out with my friends. anyway..tomorrow afternoon is gonna be hectic. But it's all good. It'll be really fun in the process. My brother thinks that hitting the phone will make it work...I'm not too sure about that. Maybe I'll write later, or maybe i'll enjoy my sleep. The joys of life.

Physics boat status: done!!! woot!! Come and support us 1st period wednesday. GHOSTBUSTERS!!! Yeah Tenacious Dong is going in the boat.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. I've been told to ignore the comments of a certain someone. Perhaps it's better that way. I might not always know how I feel, but atleast I don't have false motives or intentions. I don't aim to make people feel bad. I love my friends, they are always there for me, always there to offer to punch someone in the face for me [jk], and always there to make me feel loved no matter what type of person I am. Because as a friend, you don't judge, you accept. You don't hold expectations or ideals for the other person, you love them for who they are and are there for them when they need you. btw...Tien, and Ferguson, you guys owe me BIG TIME.

yum....Chocolate. I gots myself some chocolate. yay for kim!!! I get to sleep early tonight. Feels good. We played in the pit before the awards ceremony. Once we started playing, they just started to talk louder...hm...i wonder if they were even listenning. That'd have to be a negatory sir!. hehe. Jackie and I watched like 5 min of it, the first thing was a Home Depot Award....very inspiring. Made me wanna get outta my chair and just start a whole bunch of do It yourself projects! [sarcasm intended] Jackie's mom apparently thinks that conor is cute and matt is cute...weirded out? Yeah so are Jackie and I. Life has some funny twists sometimes. Oh yeah words of wisdom...don't paint your physics boat with rollers...bad times man...bad times...

I want to be productive today!!! Let's see how hard that will be....mwahah. Is there such thing as Junior-itis?? I think so. I just want this school year to be over. Its like sprinting the last leg of a really really long marathon. Sometimes you gotta wonder what the point is. Is the value of my life measured by how well I've done in school?? By what kind of grades that I get? Or just by being the best person that I can be? I think the last choice is the best. But does being the best person that I can be include trying hard in school?? Ah!! It's almost like a paradox. I think the most important grade that you'll get in life, is when you die. That day of judgement. Keep it in mind. There may be some things that you may not be able to take back. I know THAT for sure. But as long as you are honest with yourself, everything will turn out fine. So many people I see lie to themselves. I guess they never had the priviledge of having parents like mine that made me face my flaws, and pointed them out to me in the most upfront way possible. It's tough to swallow sometimes but in the end i'm thankful. Like I said in my American Identity speech, we need to shift our focus from the goal to the process of reaching it. As long as we continue to strive to better ourselves, then there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, and what you have done. If you've learned from it, then it was meant to happen. But if you sit there and lie to yourself constantly, no good came out of a bad situation. I do wonder however...how many people actually read this. haha. I think i write more for myself than anyone. Its a good way to start my day. (BTW the Jordy thing was cleared up yesterday, but i didn't know until this morning...hehe i love my dad...so much stress GONE!! *poof* I can breathe now)