Certainly...not me

Far from perfect.

Far from honest.

Far from moral.

Far from beautiful.

Far from greatness.

That's how it should be. I wouldn't want to be any other way. Striving to be, is where I am, what I'm doing, and what I should want. If ever I feel that I have reached a point of completion, then I know that I need to start over. And honestly, I don't have the energy to go back to square one any time soon. :)

Out.

It stinks to feel left out. I hate finding out that I've been left out of things...it just makes me feel like the kid that was picked last on the kickball team. Probably my fault for always being so busy, but it still hurts.

(maybe that's why I invite myself to things, right Angela?)

Lower Standards: a New Solution

Disclaimer: this post is not to be taken seriously.

I was browsing around the web and I found this "Soulmate Calculator" based on the US census, and after filling out my "standards" or "expectations" for my future mate here are my results:

You have to meet 173,774 American single males before you find your soul mate.

I've got a lot of work ahead of me. haha. jk. Just an interesting approach to finding a soulmate (whatever that is). Atleast it made me chuckle.
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Today was my first day subbing at an infant center in our district. I just have to say that, even though it was extremely tiring to carry two babies, keep them from crying, or getting hurt, and figuring out whether they were hungry, tired, wet, or just plain grumpy, it was a blast. You can't help but love the helpless.

Passive

Lately (well the past year or so) I've been floating in the abyss of uncertainty. Every time I find myself thinking that I've touched bottom and grounded myself, there's nothing there to keep me grounded.

I'm tired though. In all honesty, I would love that stability right now, that certainty. Mediocrity has overrun this part of my life, and I have yet to step up and make a move. The reason why I have not touched bottom and fully grounded myself is because I haven't made an investment, I haven't made the move to anchor myself to a decision. It's risky. Dropping all I have into one thing. The thought of that terrifies me. Every chance I've been given has been passed, leaving me with regret.

The tango of hesitation always lasts just a moment too long and then...the chance is gone.