Comin' Back Home

I'm coming back. Yes it's true. This may be my last post during this trip to Taiwan. I will be back the night of the 29th. So that means that I will probably see some of you during September. For those of you whom have already left me, I will try my best to find time to see ya'll.

In retrospect, this trip was mostly good. I hope that all of you will have an open mind when you go to any foreign country. Do not spend your time comparing and patronizing the culture or people. I went to the National Palace Museum, where they had an exhibit on the Emperor's belongings. So there were numerous large placards with Chinese written on the top and English on the bottom. My cousins were kind of fooling around and one bumped into the placard. So the man next to me said "stupid girl". Like my cousins dont understand. Then he started talking to the girl that understood Chinese and English. Eventhough...she was FOB for sure. And she tells him that we're probable practicing our English. And he says...do you think they understand??? Oh man. I didn't say anything to him, but I sure did have a few things on my mind.

What gives a stranger any right to call anyone stupid? No matter what kind of "superior" country you come from, you are an ambassador of some sort for your country. Set a good example. Please. And don't assume that just because I have an Asian face that I cannot understand English, I don't assume that just because you have a "white" face that you do not understand Chinese. You travel to another country, and it's like the whole civil rights...open minded-ness...equality...all that just goes out the window.

Just try not to be ignorant. It's not that hard.

I wish I could forget a lot of things. Strengths can easily become flaws. Remembering everything that happens, often becomes a grudge that I hold against myself. How weird and stupid is that?

I don't know what's wrong. It seems like almost everything feels wrong. It's like there's this whole that hasn't been filled. I feel as if I'm too dependent on others that I care about. Too dependent on what they think of me, how they feel about what I do, who I am. This fear of abandonment makes me feel so helpless that I want to always feel needed or wanted...well atleast appreciated by those who I love the most.

Then I have this problem of remembering every wrong a person has done to me. I forgive, but I can't forget. Now why the heck would anyone want to do that to themselves? Why can't I just forget? I start to live in my memories instead of in the present, and that's just pointless. I mean I often get into my memories so much, that those same feelings come right back. It's like I'm watching a movie, and no matter how many times I've seen it, I relive it each time.

There's good and bad memories though. I guess lately I've just been choosing the wrong ones to focus on.

Take me Home....Country Road

I think I have a bad case of the homesickness blues. *sniff* I miss home. I really doo. Just the simple things, and the ability to see everyone. I'm missing stuff like, saying good bye to Meg Joel and all the other people who are going to anything not UC-related, and stuff like wishing Mel a Happy Birthday the right way [and not indirectly through Joel]. I already missed the Orchie Bonfire. Some of the freedoms I used to have kinda went out the window.

Of course I'm not saying that life here is horrible. It's different and marvelous in its own way, but I miss home. Well for me, tomorrow is Sunday. So I will talk to you all when I get back. Make sure you send me lotsa love when I do get back because I've been deprived of San Diego luvin' for a long long time. [Me love you long time! haha...ok that was lame]

Miss you guys soooooooo much! Oh..and if you want anything, let me know please. It's hard thinking of things to buy when you don't know what the person wants.

I just watched Lost in Translation. All I have to say is...Scarlett Johansson is way hot, and Bill Murray comes in a close second. Sorta.

The movie makes me think a lot about culture shock and other weird things like that. It makes me think about the differences I see here and in the US. I never used to notice this kind of stuff because...well I just didn't. But I must say that the rain here is great. There's so much rain, and I don't get sick of it. It just reminds me of good times and makes me feel cozy.

"I'm singing in the rain!"

Arggghhh

You think that DVD's are the only thing that can be pirated?? Haha. You must not know too many asian people. I have seen everything imaginable be copied. You have fake name brands, fake cartoon characters. Pirated everything. The real pirates don't look like Orlando Bloom, they are those little asian dudes who drive the little cars. And to that I must say "Arggghhh".

Haha. Independence is good. Savor it while it lasts. I don't get much here. I's a girl.

Hello there...

Hello there...

This would be my first time posting something in kim's blog. I don't have any "useful" info on life. Except... I got's nothing... Well I tried. Hope you're having fun in Taiwan Kim. Comeback soon.

Save me from Myself

I have all these random half complete thoughts all the time. It's like there's so much I need to sift through. It's overwhelming how many thoughts about EVERYTHING go through my mind every moment of the day.

I'm going to explode, and my brain will leak out of my ears! It's not going to be pretty.

Even if it Makes No Sense

I've been reading a lot of books regarding death and the afterlife. And yet, in most of them, they focus so much on how the life you live affects most of what happens in the afterlife. Everything seems so isolated and lonely. You face your own fears, judge your own flaws, and reevaluate your own morals. There is no objective third party to evaluate you and mark you off as passing or failing.

Every action in life has a purpose. Every event in life has a reason behind it. If logic was what we all ran on, then this world would have no meaning. I mean if God Himself was "logical", why would He put us on this world to face happiness and suffering. Wouldn't it make more sense to "save the trouble" and give everything to us easily?

I know it's all a journey and there's meaning to it, but sometimes there's this thing in the back of my mind saying "what's the point?". This journey to learn, become stronger, to gain wisdom; all for what purpose?

We are either very wise, or very niave. I mean these things that we cling to: culture, tradition, family. In all honesty, they don't make sense. We are so sentimental that we can't let go of what we are used to. Many things we do are, in a sense, driven by fear. Fear of the unknown. So we seek comfort in what is familiar [as small as that thing may be], even if it makes no sense.

Another post by my cousins....

I love you

how are you

pizza is so good!!!

mcdonald is very good!!!

i like to swim!!!

the end