Food for Thought.

How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted and each wish resign'd
-Alexander Pope

I have more to say, but not enough time. So I figured I ought to use someone else's words instead of my own [they've already said it much better than anything I would be able to come up with].

Azure Turns to Gold

I miss having time to see the sunrise or set. Lately I've either been sleeping, working, or studying during these times. It's a beautiful time of day and never seems to lose its beauty. After class today, I wanted nothing else but to go to the cliffs. The first time I saw a sunrise was on the ocean near San Clemente Island just before we went diving. To be honest, I haven't had the chance to see a sunrise since, unless it happenned while writing my humanities paper. When I get a chance, I'll plan my perfect day and actually be able to enjoy it (hopefully with enjoyable company as well).

Today started off with a strange dream, continued with a broken shoe that got thrown away, and ended with the discovery of my parents watching a Korean soap opera (what are the odds?). This may not have been the perfect day, but it definitely was an interesting one.

Nothing but a Notion

I feel that people are always on a search for "truth" or "reality", as if there's an all-in-one solution to all problems in life. As human beings, we tend to desire closure and conclusions. It's as if we feel that once we've figured it all out, the process is finished and another one can begin. Yet the search for truth or truths is never-ending. Questions only yield more questions.

Most of us don't realize that reaching a conclusion is not equivalent to reaching truth. This is what, in my opinion, causes us to hold our "values" so tightly, what causes us to narrow our minds as we grow older, what makes us think we know better than someone else. Convictions are nothing but falsely realized truths.

Better Days

Aside from a couple of highlights, I had a *mer* day today. Yes, *mer*. (I miss Yasmin)

Certain aspects of my life have always been changing either in reality, or as a result of change in perspective. Yet in my desperate search for stability, I always end up in an unfulfilling situation. I give up fulfillment for some sense of control. In an attempt to guide my fate, I act as a catalyst in hopes of seeing the results that I want for myself. Though it feels stable and safe, it's not authentic or natural, in fact it's fleeting and forced. What I lack now is trust, trust that this is the way things ought to be, and trust that I am playing my role in that.

Everybody loves sun, why do I attract shade?
Heard of the love of money, but compassion it pays
- Common, "Love Is" -

And the beat goes on.

Spring break turned out to be much better than what I could have ever imagined. Building houses, meeting wonderful people, and just seeing new things really changes my perspective on a lot of things. The nice thing about travelling and meeting people from different places is that you learn not to assume that everyone comes from the same type of situation as yourself. Less assuming means less room for judgement and more room for empathy.

This week has given me hope most of all. Hope that things can change for the better, and hope that people haven't lost all of their ability to care for others. It may still be a form of "self-love" to help others according to some philosophers (argh, Humanities), but the end result is still a contribution of good.

Much more to write, but I have to leave to set up for Spangela's sister's bridal shower. Time is really passing by [hence the title].