Disintegration

The anguish you feel when you hurt someone without the intent of doing so is...it's painful.

Thank goodness it's raining.

I'm trying, I really am. I don't know what else to do. No matter what I say. Actions speak louder than words right? Right. It's like I'm killing myself over something I wish I could change. Saying "I'm sorry" is just as good as saying "I told you so". Too late...too bad so sad. [Tell me about it] How can I expect anything other than..."i don't forgive you".

Everything is my choice right? Then why does it feel like I'm just apart of the system. Going through the motions.

I've tied myself to 5 different horses each running in a different direction, and each pulling on a limb, and the last one tied to my heart. I think I'm gonna fall apart. The strength that it takes sometimes to keep myself together hurts. I'm losing circulation and I'm going numb. It's like disintegrating from the inside out. I wonder if I'll melt like the wicked witch of the west, cuz that's what I am.