I have finished my junior paper!!! Yay for me. and thanks to nan for helping me. today I spent most of my day at home alone. I finally did some of the things that I've been trying to get myself to do. Like clean my room...etc. I just realized that the way grades are going...i'll still get a 4.4. I'm happy, but i dunno if my parents will be. that means an average from freshman year of...4.2?? No idea. Who really cares?? I wanna be a doctor though..so it might matter. Darn! Why do the things I do now have to impact on my future..I dont understand. People make me feel like if i make a mistake now, then I'll end up as a bum on the street. Doesn't anyone ever get a second chance? I guess not. I always ask myself..what if I died today? What would people say about me when they looked at my life? Oh she had such potential to do great things...or she DID some great things?? I guess its all about that carpe diem stuff. Sounds so great in theory, but you get lost in everyday life so easily that you just kind of end up running with your head down ya know? And carpe diem starts to make you act without thinking about consequences, when the reality is that you DO have consequences to deal with afterward. I hate balancing between "living for today" and "planning for tomorrow". I guess I'll live.