The wheels are turning

For some reason I have all these thoughts again. Maybe it's just that when I'm tired, I start thinking more about stuff. Like for example. I know we always say..what would you do if you knew that you were going to die tomorrow? [or two weeks or a month or whatever] and people always say that they'd do all these things they were always afraid of trying because of fear of death. Or they say that they'd go see all their loved ones and let everyone know that they loved them. Or there's always some brat who says that they'd have sex drink party and do a whole bunch of drugs. If you look at it, out of the three, only one deals with consequences. Would it really make a difference, though, if you did go and see all your loved ones? I think it'd make it harder. I don't think I'd tell anyone if I knew that I was going to die, but I'd make sure that all the people around me knew that i loved them. I sometimes wish that there were only like 5 people in the world besides my immediate family. It'd be so much easier to deal with stuff like making sure you don't hurt anyone's feelings. But then it'd be like going to a small school...there'd be no privacy or choice of who you'd rather spend time with. I have a tendency to end up neglecting people when there are a whole ton of people around me. It's like I spread myself too thin, and only a few people have had the balls to ever tell me that to my face. I admire people who can be straight up and honest about stuff. I'm not saying I don't usually go on the defensive, but if you give me a little time, I do take it in. I'm not a stubborn brat I hope. Anyway...I'm missing Megan a ton, and now I'm gonna miss Angela. She's gonna go to Hawaii and surf a whole ton. I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous.